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Again

I’m here with him, with my first love with the man who changed my world. And I can feel it, I can feel everything, I can feel every inch of me falling in love with him all over again. I can feel myself craving him time after time again. I accounted for everything for every single possibility, except this one. I didn’t think I’d feel this way for him again, I swore to myself that I’d avoid it at all costs. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t bring myself to the thought of limiting my feelings for this man. I couldn’t imagine myself without him, he’s my world. He’s always been my world. Since the moment we met, he’s meant everything to me. I’m here in Pensacola for another 5 days and then I’m gone. This will all be a distant memory, he will no longer be a part of my everyday routine. I don’t know how to say goodbye to him. I don’t know how I’m going to let him go for real this time. This is it, he and I are done. The love of my life and I will no longer have what we’ve always had. I won’t be able to wake up to him anymore. Spring break is coming to an end, and I have a feeling it’ll be the end of a beautiful love story. He’s not my boyfriend anymore he hasn’t been for a while, but it doesn’t make it any easier. 3 and a half years with him and now I’m only getting to spend 10 days with him. 10 days, that’s what it’s all come down to. The navy has changed him, made him a better stronger man. I won’t complain in that aspect but boy do I wish I had him back home with me. I know goodbyes are never supposed to be easy, but no one told me that anticipating them was going to feel like my heart was getting torn out. 

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