I have one day or rather one vivid memory of him. It never fails to make me smile because he never failed to make me smile. We’re laying down in bed and we’re gossiping about some guy and his relationship. I stopped and looked at him, like really looked at him. “What?” He asked, and I responded with a smile and kiss followed by me resting my head on his shoulder. I didn’t have to say it, he knew, he always knew. I wanted that, I wanted him, I wanted moments like the one we just shared. He was my best friend. He was the love of my life, the man who made me infinitely happy. He knew me so well, I just feel like I’m never going to find that again. He knew about my obsession for crushed ice, he loved my annoying little quirks. He always held doors for me, walked me to my car, to my door. Gosh I loved him, looking back I can wholeheartedly say that I loved him. It wasn’t lust, infatuation or puppy love. I genuinely loved that man. The man who knew when I wanted to put hot sauce on my tacos and who knew how damn impatient I was while waiting for food. Man, I miss watching him play video games. I miss sneaking him kisses while his family was away, I miss hugging him while I slept. I miss getting my back scratched, I miss it all. I crave it.